Breathing again
by meektester866
Summary: "You've never expected to see her again. She was supposed to be only a ghost of your past, hunting you from time to time. And instead there she is." An unexpected encounter brings back feelings that are supposed to be only memories. Will these souls find their way back to each other or will they be lost and separated forever? Set in the future. Last chapter is rated M.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

You have never thought you would ever see her again. Not now, not ever. When you've split up a year ago, you thought that was the last time you'd see her. After your rough break-up, you've moved out from your apartment and transferred to San Francisco, choosing to start a new job there and a new life without her. You did everything in your power to try and forget her: you dived yourself into work and into swimming; and after awhile it worked. If you didn't have the time to think, you wouldn't think of her. The only time you couldn't keep your mind occupied was at night, in that moment you were overwhelmed by the memories of your happy times together. But after a few months, you grew so tired because of work that when you returned home you immediately collapsed on your bed, without time to think.

You've even tried dating somebody, a few girls that your best friend, Pru, set you up with. But it never worked out. Deep in your heart you knew it was because none of them were her, but you've told Pru and yourself it was because you weren't ready to be with someone yet. She believed you and she let go the argument for a while, only to start again a few weeks later, dropping hints there and there. You pretended not to notice and you were grateful she didn't pushed too much. You were, and still are, grateful to and for her.

You honestly don't know what you would have done without her. You probably would still mope and be miserable. You would still be depressed and in a state of self-pity, from which you would never been able to exit without her helping you. She was there. She picked up all your pieces and put them together. She stood by your side all the time, she never abandoned you. She picked up all your pieces, all but one. The one which always belonged, belongs and will belong to your first and only love. That is the piece that Pru couldn't ever pick up but you are okay with that. You are happy that she got the best part of you, you are happy that she will always have it.

You've never expected to see her again. She was supposed to be only a ghost of your past, haunting you from time to time. And instead there she is. The woman you've thought was the love of your life is standing in all her glory a few feet from you. And all you can do is stare at her. She hasn't changed a bit. She is the same beauty she's always been. You can see her smile from a distance and you're sure now more than ever that her smile can light up the world. She can still light up your world.

"McCullers, we are here to do some shopping, not to checking out girls. Let's go. You have to tell me how good I look on these dresses."

Shit, she saw you.

* * *

Disclaimer: Don't own the show and its characters.

Author's Note: Oh well, here it is the start, the prologue, of my first multi-chapter. It takes place in the future where Paige and Emily aren't together anymore. Being a prologue it is very short, because in my mind it is this way. Future chapters will be longer.

I think I'll update it weekly, just for information. As always, let me know what do you think of it, I would be happy to know your thoughts. I'm not English, so if there are mistakes just tell me and I'll fix them. Hope you liked it!

_See you,_

_Meek._


	2. Chapter I

The paragraph in _italics _is a flashback.

* * *

**Chapter I**

You notice it the second she meets your gaze: she didn't expect to see you either. The surprise in her eyes and the disappearance of her smile say it all. It is the latter that breaks your heart. You stand there staring at each other until she drops her gaze and focuses her attention on the person she was talking to – smiling to – a few seconds ago.

You make your way to Pru, glad she's too focused on the dresses that she didn't see what she has caused. Damn her and her yelling. You would have been happier standing there looking at her unnoticed instead of making your presence clear to her. You didn't want her to notice you. You just wanted to stare at her. She shifts her gaze back and forth between you and the woman in front of her, trying to be subtle but failing miserably. You don't even bother to take your eyes off her, you don't care. You haven't seen her in over a year and you want to take in just as much of her as you can now. You just want to breathe.

"Try them on and let me see."

Pru sends you a big smile to which you reply with a small forced one. She looks at you with a questioning face but you pretend not to notice. With a nod, you make her understand to hurry and she gives in, letting you know you won't get way this easily later. You smile a little, happy to know she cares so much. She tries on the dresses and you give her your opinion with disgusted faces or approval ones, shifting continuously your gaze from her to Emily.

She is now the one who doesn't look away from you and her stare just burns too much that you can't bear it, you can't stare back. But even without looking at her, you feel her eyes on you. She's looking at you with the same old flame in her eyes that she used to have. You feel on fire. You feel alive. You're breathing again. You're breathing too much and you need to get away. You need to get away from her.

You tell Pru you don't feel really good and that you'll wait for her outside and before she can even say anything you're out of the shop, not without giving a long last look at Emily. You reach Pru's car and you lean on the passenger's door. You are overwhelmed. You can't believe this happened. It's too much.

It doesn't take too long for Pru to arrive. She looks at you but she doesn't say anything, she just places the bags in the car and waits for both of you to settle before speaking.

"What happened in there?"

"I couldn't breathe, I needed some fresh air."

The lie slips easily from your lips. You can't tell her that you saw her again. You can't tell her that seeing Emily again made you feel like you were finally breathing after a long time. You can't.

"Oh, did I take your breath away?"

You two share a laugh. You know she didn't really believed you and you are glad she didn't call your bluff. You don't want her to know, not yet. You want to keep it to yourself for a while.

"Are you really that confident about yourself?"

She just nods and laughs even harder while you simply smile; and for a moment you forget about Emily. You forget the feelings that seeing her again brought back. And in this moment you feel better. You feel happy. But it's when Pru's laugh dies that you remember and all comes crashing down. You remember the way her smile died when she saw you.

* * *

_You feel nervous, anxious and excited at the same time. You've never felt so sure about anything in your life, but you can't help but feeling this way. You're going to tell her now. You've already prepared everything for the perfect night and you even practiced your little speech. But right now you can't imagine a better moment than this. Tonight is the perfect night. This moment is the moment. You're watching the reruns of Emily's favorite show, Friends, on TV, her head is resting on your chest and she is laughing hard about something Phoebe said. This is what you see when imagine your future. And you want this future to start now. Fuck the speech. Spontaneous is better._

"_Marry me."_

_She turns and looks at you with a smile on her lips. She doesn't believe you. You repeat it again, making eye contact this time. She slowly comes to the realization that you're being serious and you slowly see her smile dying. Your heart breaks pretty quickly, instead._

* * *

"Can you take me home?"

Pru looks at you but you don't look back. You keep on staring at the road even if you aren't the one who is driving. You know that if you look at her she will see right through you and you can't permit that. You know she is confused and worried but right now you can't do nothing about it. Soon you will tell her, but this isn't the moment for it.

"Sure."

This is the moment to dwell on the past. This is the moment to let Emily haunt you.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Here it is the first chapter, I really hope you liked it! I realized that this is pretty much the maximum length of the chapters, so I'm sorry if someone wants them longer, but this is how I write. And I know sometimes I say things that aren't always understandable because I have some trouble to express what I really mean, so if someone has question I'll try to explain myself better. Make no problems to ask anything or correct my mistakes.

Thanks to the guests who left a review for the prologue.

Let me know what do you think of it and if you like the idea of using flashback.

_See you soon, _

_Meek._


	3. Chapter II

The paragraph in _italics _is a flashback.

* * *

**Chapter II**

Weeks later you got a call from Caleb, in which he told you he was coming to visit you in a few days. Although he didn't mention Hanna was coming along. It's not that you have any problems with her, in reality you are kind of friends and you talk from time to time. But it's because she reminds you so much of Emily that hurts, she's the only friend of hers with who you didn't cut off the ties with after your break-up. Probably the fact she is dating one of your best friend helped a lot. On the other hand, she's the last thing that connects you to Emily and, even if it hurts, you want to keep her close.

You are now sitting with Hanna at a bar near your house, Caleb gone to get the coffees. She is scrutinizing you and you're feeling a little uncomfortable. You've always felt this way around her and the other two girls. At first you understood their mistrust, they wanted to protect Emily, but then, after working to get their trust, you didn't understand them anymore: you loved Emily and you wanted to protect her, too. In the end you stopped trying, accepting the fact that you couldn't make them trust and like you. From that moment things got better little by little.

"So, got some news?"

"Uhm, nothing big. What about you?"

She ignores your question and she just stares at you with a raised eyebrow. And because of her doubtful expression you understand she knows. Of course Emily told her, it's obvious.

"You already know, so why ask?"

"I was curious to see if you would tell me."

She shrugs and you simply nod, even if you aren't sure she's telling you everything. You're not really certain you want to know, so you don't say anything.

"Have you asked yourself what she was doing here?"

You shake your head. You haven't. You just thought she was visiting the city or she was attending a course here. But you didn't really think too much of it, you just wanted not to think of her.

"She's applied for a few jobs not so long ago. She chose where to go, she told me a few days before you met. And I didn't know how to tell you."

You start shaking your head. This can't be happening, no. No. She's not implying what you think she is. She looks at you, you can see how hard this is for her, you can see the sympathy in her eyes.

"She chose to come here".

Everything seems to freeze. She has said it. Emily is transferring here. It cannot be possible. You've moved to San Francisco to get away from her and now she is here. It seem there's no escape. You can't hide from her. It doesn't matter how much you run, she always catches you.

"Here's your coffees. Sorry for the wait, but I had a few people ahead of me."

You take yours, thanking Caleb. You can't bring yourself to look at him in the eyes. He's like Pru, he can read you easily, just by looking at you in the eyes.

"I have to tell you something."

His voice is serious, so you are forced to look at him. You put a neutral face and nod. You can see the conflict is eyes: he's happy, but he's concerned about something. He's tense and you start to worry.

"Did you kill somebody? Do you have to go to prison?", you try to joke. Hanna smiles and sends you a grateful look while Caleb relaxes and smiles a little.

"Not yet."

You smile and you see him looking at Hanna who gives him an encouraging smile and puts her left hand on his arm. You didn't notice it before, but you surely do it now. An engagement ring.

* * *

_You've already been in a few jewelries, but you haven't found the right ring yet. You don't have huge claims, you just want it to be perfect. It has to be perfect: it's for Emily. You've been planning your proposal for quite some time now, but you are really going crazy in trying to find the ring that you want. It has to represent the simplicity and the uniqueness that Emily is and it has to convey all the feeling you have for her. Passion. Devotion. Love. Pure love._

"_I'll never find the one. It's freaking impossible!"_

"_Keep calm, okay? You will find it."_

_You simply nod and take a breath. You aren't going to freak out, you're going to keep calm. You'll find it and it will be perfect. You are grateful Caleb came with you, even thought he found the ring for Hanna last week. It wasn't on purpose, but you've decided to propose at the same time, so you thought to help each other out. You don't know who will propose first, but you don't care. You just want it to be perfect, no matter how long you will have to wait to have it that way._

_You are ready to give up and leave, accepting that the ring you're searching for isn't here, when you see with the corner of your eye a set of rings you didn't notice before. You approach it and you look at them very closely, one by one. And it's when you seen one of them that you smile happily and your heart fills with joy. It's very simple with a small diamond. It's the one you wanted. __It's the perfect one._

"_That's the one!"_

* * *

Now you understand his concern. He doesn't know how to tell you because he's afraid about how you will take it. And in this moment you feel guilty because he waited so long to ask her just because of you. He knows how bad it hurt when Emily rejected your proposal and he waited over a year. You feel guilty, but you also feel grateful. Because he did it on his own, showing how much he cares about you.

"We're getting married."

You smile widely and you see the relief in his eyes.

"Congratulations. I am very happy for you, guys!"

You really mean what you said, you are really happy for them. It is just that you can't shake Emily off your head. She said no while Hanna said yes. You feel the hurt all over again. But you won't let Emily take this, too. This isn't about you, or her. This is about them.

You stand up and you hug the both of them, whispering a little "Thank you" in Caleb's ear. He smiles, understanding what you are referring to.

"And there's more: I want you to be my best woman."

You're dumbstruck. You didn't expect this. You've always though he would choose Toby or Lucas, but never you. He has an amused look, he seems to know this would have been a big surprise for you. You look at Hanna, who has the same entertained look her fiancé has, then right back to him.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, Paige. You've always been by my side, I can't imagine someone else in that role."

"Then yes! Oh God, I am your best woman, I am so happy! I can't believe it."

You hug him tightly, smiling so big that it hurts. You're so happy and honored to be his best woman that you can't really describe how you're feeling right now.

"Thank God you said yes. I've told him so many times not to worry, but it never worked out."

You and Hanna laugh hard while Caleb pretend to be mad, but he can't contain his happiness and he soon joins the two of you. After you stop laughing, you make small talk about everything until it's time for you to leave for work. Caleb promises you that you will see each other again before returning home, in Santa Barbara. After your goodbyes, you part ways.

The day passes quickly and work doesn't tire you as usual. You haven't felt so happy about something in a long time and you feel like nothing can't touch you. But it is when you arrive to an empty house that, remembering what Hanna told you, you understand that Emily still can touch you.

And in that moment you fall to the ground.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I know this may seem a bit heavy but it couldn't be divided in two parts, in my opinion. I wanted Hanna to be the one to drop the bomb about Emily, because I didn't see anyone fit in that role better than her, not even Caleb. It had to be Hanna.

I hope you liked this second chapter and Caleb and Hanna's attendance, because I'm planning on writing some more about them in this fic, but we'll see.

Thanks to the guests who left a review.

Let me know your thoughts.

_See you next week,_

_Meek._


	4. Chapter III

The paragraph in _italics _is a flashback.

* * *

**Chapter III**

"Hey, P. Want to hang out a little?"

"Of course."

"Good. I am in front of your house, so hurry up."

You do as she says. You haven't seen her in a few days, both too busy with work and her with family, too, so you're happy to see her. You leave your apartment and exit your condo. You smile when you see her and you hug her.

"You've been a stranger, P."

She's right, you have. For the past few days you've been going on like a machine. You got up, you went to work, you didn't talk to anyone unless it was necessary. Then you went running or swimming until you were certain you would be so exhausted that you were going to fall asleep very quickly. For a few days, that was your routine. It helped you not to think about her or, at least, not so much. Want it or not, more or less, she's always on your mind, the thoughts of her choking you, drowning you.

"You know work is getting always more demanding. We're on the final stages of the project and then we'll move on the next one."

"Yeah... That's what I want to talk about."

You look at her curiously, but she only shakes her head and points at the café near the corner of the road. You lead the way and, after entering, you go ordering the coffees. Maybe it's time to tell her, you've kept the fact for yourself long enough, you've avoided the topic for too long.

"I have to tell you something, too.", you say while you hand the cup to her.

She nods and lets you start first. You take a deep breath.

"Remember that day at the shop? I saw Emi... Her."

You flinch. Even now you can't say her name, it still hurts. You look at Pru, she's looking at you intensely.

"Is this why you've been distant lately?", you nod, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"At first, I wanted to keep it for yourself. But then, it was getting harder day by day. I didn't know how to tell you."

"You should know it doesn't matter how you tell me something, it only matters that you do it."

She seems disappointed, so you look down, ashamed.

"Are you mad?"

"What? No. I mean, yes. At myself.", you look at her confused, "I knew something was wrong, but I thought it would be good to give you some space, but I made a mistake."

You look at her surprised, you knew she has noticed but you didn't think she would feel guilty about not saying anything. You are grateful, you tell her that, she didn't push you to talk. You wouldn't handled it.

"And there's more... She's moved here. Hanna told me a few days ago."

"Oh... So you already know."

"Wait, you knew?"

Shaking her head, she says "I found out this morning. Guess who is the new Biology teacher?"

* * *

"_Guess who is the new Biology teacher?", she ask with a happy smile on her lips while she sits on your lap._

_You smile, you were so sure she would get the job, she's amazing._

"_What will you give me if I guess right?"_

"_A kiss", you pout, "Okay, okay, billions of kisses", she says laughing and leaning to kiss you, waiting for your answer, which will be correct._

"_Well, I'd say you. Is my guess correct, miss?"_

_She playfully slaps you and kisses you. You both smile into the kiss._

"_I'm so proud, you know? We should celebrate."_

"_We can do that later. I want to give you all of those billions I've promised you. Right now."_

"_But..."_

"_Right now, Paige."_

* * *

"Paige!"

You jump on your chair. What the heck?

"What?"

"I've lost you for a few second. Where did you go?"

"Remembering... I was just remembering something."

You shake your head, thinking you'll shake this memory off your head this way. She looks at you apprehensively, understanding.

"And do you remember what your next project will be?"

Shit, you forgot. You face palm yourself. The Science Lab. Your next project is the Science Lab at Pru's highschool, now Emily's, too. Fuck. Your plan to avoid her until the wedding won't work.

"Paige..."

You shake your head, "I can't escape from her."

"You shouldn't. You're strong. But if you think you can't do it... You can drop the project, you don't have to do it. The school can find someone else."

"No, I won't. It's my job, I'll be professional. You don't need to worry, okay?"

She nods, but you notice she's still doubtful so you raise an eyebrow to which she responds with a more convinced nod. You're growing tired of people treating you like this fragile thing.

"Good.", you say checking your watch, "I have to go. Caleb will be at mine in a couple of hours."

You accompany her to her car and you hug each other.

"Dinner at mine tomorrow? Elaine misses her auntie."

You laugh and nod, "Sure, say hello to the little one. I miss her, too."

Pru gets in the car and waves at you. She starts the engine, but then she stops.

"You still love her, don't you?

* * *

"That's mine!"

"What? No. You ate more than I did."

"Yours were bigger."

You've grabbed the last slice of pizza at the same time and now you're arguing like children. That slice is yours, you'll take it. And you do when Caleb gets distracted by his phone. You slip the slice from his hold and, with only a few bites, you eat it all.

"Told you it was mine.", you smirk, "Tell Hanna I said hi and a thank you, that was so good!"

"You're such a bitch."

"And yet, you love me."

"That I do, my friend."

You both laugh and he throws you a crust of pizza. You mock surprise and pretend to be offended. Suddenly an idea comes to your mind, you are on a competing mode.

"You want war? That's what you'll have, then."

You quickly grab a pillow and you hit his head.

"Headshot!"

You begin your little battle and laugh so hard. You haven't laughed so much in a very long time. That's why you love hanging out with Caleb. You both surrender at the same time.

"Truce?"

"Truce. Care to see who is the better shooter here?", he asks, pointing to your console with his head.

"You just got yourself in troubles, Rivers."

* * *

**Author's note: **So sorry for the delay!

Here it is some angst and some happy times from the past and the present, I really like the contrast, but I'm talking about something that's mine so that doesnt'really matter, right? I really hope you liked the chapter and leave a review, I really want to know what you think. I am a little worried, because I don't know what you think of the last chapter so I hope you'll tell me something.

I'll update within next Friday, if I can I'll update a little sooner. Promised.

So what's next? Paige and Emily seeing each other again? Or the wedding? Who knows? You can try to tell me.

_See you later,_

_Meek._


	5. Chapter IV

The paragraphs in _italics _are flashback.

* * *

**Chapter IV**

You were supposed to meet Pru for breakfast a few minutes ago, but strangely she's running late. She's rarely late. Today is your first day working at Lowell high. If you say were waiting for this day, you'd be lying. You weren't, at all. You're not ready to see her, but you have to be. Your phone rings and you instantly extract it from your bag. Pru sent you a text.

"As you may have noticed, I'm late. You know my order. I am on my way."

You enter the café and go ordering. A cappuccino for Pru and a black coffee for you. You pay, then you go and sit, you choose the table which gives you a better view of the entrance. You take your notes and go through them quickly. You've already talked to the principal and, after showing you the lab, he gave you the major directives, so you could start working. You made different drafts, still not knowing what these teachers want. You hear the door opening, so you start gathering them. You look up, but you don't see who you are expecting.

Your heart stops. It's Emily. She sees you right away and seems stunned. You stare at each other, both frozen in your spots. She gives you a small awkward wave, you remain impassible, you only nod in greeting. You notice the indecision in her eyes, she wants to approach you, but she doesn't dare to. Eventually she decides to stay away and you look down at your phone. Where the hell is Pru?

"Here your coffees, sorry for the wait."

You thank the waitress and you watch absently her walking away. You still feel her eyes on you, so you shift your gaze on her and your eyes meet again. Movements and sounds slowly disappear and she becomes the only thing that's clear. You inhale deeply. You are breathing. She makes you breathe.

* * *

"_She doesn't want me anymore. What will I do?"_

_Your words are slurred, maybe you've drunk a little too much. You just wanted to forget about Emily, but you only ended up at her door. You don't remember exactly what she told you, but you remember clearly her saying that no, you can't get back together._

"_Now I'm going to put you in bed, you'll sleep and then we'll talk tomorrow."_

_She takes off your shoes and makes you lay on the bed. You don't have any strength left, so you don't oppose._

"_Don't leave me, please... Not you, too."_

_She doesn't answer right away and turns the light off. You begin to cry and a moment after you feel two arms embracing you and holding you tight._

"_I'll never leave, P. I'll always be right beside you."_

"_Why? Why doesn't she love me anymore?", you sniff, "I'm so lost, I don't know what to do without her. I love her."_

_She tightens the grip around you, she kisses your forehead and says, "Sssh, I've got you, okay? I've got you."_

"_I can't breathe, Pru. I can't without her. Please..."_

_She keeps telling you she's got you until you eventually stop crying and fall asleep, the exhaustion taking over._

_She's got you._

* * *

You exhale.

She is the first who looks away, checking her watch and grabbing her cup at the same time. You see her muttering something under her breath, probably a curse, and getting up. She gives you one last look and after she leaves the café. The image of her eyes is fixed on your mind, you can't shake it off. You saw everything, yet anything. You are unable to interpret her eyes. Emily has always been good at hiding her feelings. She lets you know she's hiding something, but she doesn't let you understand. What was she trying to say?

"Oh, my cappuccino! Thank God, I so need this!"

You were too busy thinking that you didn't see Pru entering and approaching you. You smile and put Emily in the back of your mind, you're becoming good at this.

"I'm Paige. And good morning to you, too."

"Thank you, P. And I'm sorry, Elaine didn't want to go school and I had to convince her. I finally found the easy way, I think."

"Yeah? What?"

"Well, I told her you'd be mad if she didn't go.", you glare at her, "Oh, come on, don't look at me that way. She totally loves you."

You smile, because you know that's the truth. Elaine loves you and really cares about your judgment. She's quite handful, but she's a good child and you really love her.

"That's because I am amazing."

"Yeah, you're good with kids."

* * *

"_What about Ethan?"_

"_Did you take it from some of your video games again?"_

"_No, of course."_

_You're thinking of some names to give to your children. Or better, your future children. It's just something that the two of you do. You lay in bed and share your dreams. Lately, you've thinking about having children in your future. You've proposed a few names, but she rejected them all, saying they were good only for characters of video games and not for real people._

"_Okay, I might consider it."_

"_You might?"_

_She nods and a little laugh escapes from her lips. You start tickling her, in revenge. She takes too much joy in making fun of you and now she'll pay for it. She pleads you to stop, but you don't, she has to beg for your forgiveness. Somehow your lips find hers and you forget about your purpose. She's the only thing that matters._

"_What about Bruce?_

"_As in Wayne? Again, Paige?"_

* * *

She doesn't mention anything about Emily, so probably they didn't see each other and that's a good thing. You'll tell her later, now you have to focus on your meeting. Professionalism and neutrality are required. And you, Paige McCullers, always meet the requirements.

* * *

You're freaking nervous, but you think nobody has noticed it. Well, Emily has, but she doesn't count, she always knows what you feel, even now. Everytime your gaze lands on her she gives you an encouraging nod. It's kind of ironic that she's the reason of your turmoil and tranquility at the same time. You've already shown them the most of your drafts and notes, they seem satisfied with your job which puts you a little more at ease.

"We have thought of something, too. Can we show it to you?"

You simply nod, not knowing what to say. The oldest of these woman hands you a few sheets. You expected to see notes, not projects. They seem to notice your surprise so they're quick to explain.

"Miss Fields not only has proved to be an excellent teacher, but a good draftswoman, too. Certainly the best of us, anyway."

* * *

"_Can you teach me?"_

"_It's not simple.", you say scratching your head._

"_So? You think I can't do this?"_

"_I think you can do anything."_

_And that's the truth, she can do anything, because she's amazing. She fights for what she wants and it doesn't matter how many times she falls, she always stands up. She's the strongest person you've ever met. _

"_Then I'm your student, love."_

* * *

Now you understand why they looked so familiar. She projected them. You smile and then you look at her, but she's looking everywhere but you. She's always done it when she was shy or embarrassed for something.

"They're good, really good. I'm not sure whether it's possible to make everything possible, but I'll do what I can and let you know."

She finally looks at you with a little smile on her lips, happy to know she did a good job. You haven't seen her smiling for so long, so you mentally photograph this image.

"Maybe Miss Fields could leave you her number, so you can discuss it further. If you want, I mean."

You both stiffen. You wait for her to answer, but she doesn't. She doesn't look at you in the eyes. She just takes a piece of paper and writes her number on it, then all of you stand up and say your goodbyes. You and Emily are the last ones. You look at each other. Once again you see the indecision in her eyes, but this time you don't wait for her to make a choice. You start gathering your things and with the corner of your eye you see her arriving to a resolution to whatever problem she had.

"Read it."

You don't even have the time to turn that she's gone. Just like that. You finish to collect everything that's yours and then you take the note she gave you in your hand. You aren't sure if you want to read it, but you do it anyway and you regret it a second later. You don't want to. You're not ready. You won't.

It reads, "We need to talk."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hey! I posted like as I said I would, so I'm happy about it. Tell me what do you think of this chapter. Three flashback, damn. I saw them fitting in this chapter so I HAD to put them. And then we saw Emily again. That's good. Or not?

Thanks to those who left a review to the last chapter, thank you so much! I'll answer to the two guests because I can't PM them so:

**cam: **you were right. I'm sorry, but I wanted to know what you expected to come next, so I had to give little previews. Thank you for your review.

**An: **I know, right? I feel that way writing... I'm really happy you like that contrast, I thought I was the only one. Well, I have something planned, but it won't be in this story. It's totally Paige-centric. But I assure you, Emily's point of view will be explored.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

_See you next week (I hope),_

_Meek. _


	6. Chapter V

The paragraphs in _italics _are flashback.

* * *

**Chapter V**

"What if she changed her mind?"

You've dealt with all types of problems related to the wedding, but this one is the worst: Caleb freaking out. He seems inconvincible, no matter how hard you try. On the other hand, you find it kind of funny, but you don't say it out loud, you'll make fun him in a proper moment.

"I've already told you she didn't. She won't leave you at the altar, she'll come, okay?"

He nods, but you know he is still worried, so you have to do something to help him.

"Do you want me to go and ask her?"

You won't really ask her, you'll just go to her so he can calm down and stop worrying. His eyes light up and he nods frantically, he thanks you while you simply smile. You leave the room and go directly to the girls' one. You hear laughter coming from inside that die down the moment you knock. You distinguished Emily's one and God, how much you've missed it. You've always loved her laugh.

"Who is it?", you hear a voice you didn't hear in a long time, Aria's.

"Paige."

The door slowly opens and standing in front of you there is Spencer, blocking your way.

"What do you need?"

"Hello to you, too. I need to speak with Hanna. Best woman's duty."

She looks at you skeptically, but lets you enter anyway. She glares at you, but you don't care. The last time you've spoken with her wasn't very pleasant, in fact she yelled at you on the phone that, and you'll never forget it, you don't deserve Emily. After that you've never spoken again and that's okay for you. You'll never forgive her, because, whether her statement may have been right or not, she knew your weakness and took advantage of it.

You look around the room. Aria comes first, she's smiling at you so you give her a kind nod. You don't have many memories with her since she lives in Europe, but the ones you have are good. Then there's Hanna, looking beautiful in her dress. You smile at her and she smiles back radiantly. You can tell she's very happy. If only Caleb could see her happiness, he would stop worrying. And finally, here comes Emily. She's so damn beautiful that for a moment you forget about all the hurt, the heart-break. You could look at her forever and never get tired of it. There are no emotions in her eyes. Just like the last time you've seen her.

* * *

"_You didn't call."_

_You ended up being the last ones again. You mentally kick yourself for not noticing it._

"_There was no need to talk."_

"_So were they really good as you said?"_

_You start to nod, but then you stop. Did she want to talk about work? You look at her, she seems so hurt. You internally curse._

"_Do you really think I would ask you this way? I thought you knew me better."_

"_I am sorry."_

_She's kinda right, you've freaked out and presumed she wanted to talk about the two of you. She only shakes her head, her eyes aren't hurt anymore. They're empty and so dark. You don't understand._

"_I have to go, I have class. Glad to know they were good."_

_She turns to leave and you go to grab her arm, only to realize you're not ready to touch her. So you let her go. Once again._

* * *

Spencer clears her throat and you snap out of your daze. You shake slightly your head and turn your attention to Hanna, who smiles at you brightly.

"So, what do you think?", she ask you, rotating on the spot, showing off her dress.

"You're beautiful."

For a second your gaze flickered to Emily, but you don't think she has noticed it.

"Good. Now I'm sure Caleb will love it."

"Oh, come on, you could wear a trash bag and he would still find you beautiful.", Emily comments with a big smile on her lips.

"He is whipped.", Aria and Spencer say at the same time, while Hanna and Emily nod in agreement and smile.

"Hey, that's my best friend you're talking about."

"There's something wrong on being whipped? I find it so cute.", Aria quips.

"I remember you being very much whipped by Emily."

Spencer can't let go, obviously. Suddenly you feel her eyes on you so you look back. She's curious, you can see that.

"Indeed."

She smiles shyly and look down. You clear your throat, looking at Hanna, hoping she gets the hint. Luckily, she does.

"What brings you here?"

"Well, I wanted to see you before the ceremony."

"He is freaking out, isn't he?"

You can't fool her, so you simply smile, scratching your head.

"How cute!", she squeals while the others smile.

You see Emily checking her phone and then looking at you, uncertain. So you check the time and see that it's time for you to go. You nod at Emily and she smiles a little, murmuring something like a "Thank you.". You manage a little smile, too, and after saying goodbye you leave the room. It's time to go back to Caleb and get this wedding started.

* * *

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance."

Damn, here it comes the time for the vows. You're going to cry.

"Hanna, I... I love you. When we met I was only a lost boy who was just trying to survive, but you changed that. You saw something in me, that no one, me included, ever saw. I needed someone to find me and you did. You made me a man. I don't dare to imagine where I would be without you... So thank you. I will be eternally grateful."

He takes a little break so you shift your gaze to Emily. She's looking at them with a touched smile, but suddenly her eyes are staring right into yours. You maintain the eye contact, you don't move. Her eyes are like a storm.

"I vow to love you unconditionally and fiercely. I vow to always be there when you need me. No matter what challenges may carry us apart, my love for you will not waver. These are my vows."

You take the ring from your pocket and hand it to Caleb. He's on the verge of crying and you're sure he will. And you soon will accompany him in this, too. He smiles briefly and then focuses again on the beautiful woman in front of him. He slowly puts the ring on her finger and finally a tear spills down his face. You look at her again. You see the change in her eyes, you're beginning to understand.

"Before meeting you, I didn't believe in love. I mean, I wanted to, but I didn't. Not really. But then you came and you showed me what love is. You gave me the greatest gift: your love."

At this point, the tears you were trying to hold back break free. The loving and adoring looks they share make you cry in joy.

"And your love made me realize I was more than I thought. I wasn't a pretty girl anymore, I was a person who had a lot to give. Love, passion, forgiveness. I could be that person, I could give those things thanks to you. And if I ever doubt myself I just look at you in those beautiful eyes of yours and then I'm okay. The way you look at me... Is amazing."

You try to wipe out the tears and then you look at Emily. She's in the same condition you are.

* * *

"_I love the way you look at me."_

"_And in which way I look at you?"_

"_You look at me like you'll love me forever, like I'm tattooed on your heart. Your look burns me, it blinds me, and yet everything is crystal clear."_

_You're lying once again on your bed, sharing your thought and dreams. You listen to Emily and smile. You really love when she opens up to you, it's a very rare thing, so you don't want it to go to waste by speaking._

"_I feel like I'm out of breath, you know? When I'm not looking at you, when I'm not you, I mean. Do you feel the same?", you simply nod not to break the moment, "It is strange, isn't it? I feel at home with you. You're my home. I feel like I belong with you. Like, no matter what, we'll always find our way back to each other."_

"_I don't find it strange at all. I feel the same. We love each other, Em."_

"_And this doesn't scare you? Loving someone... Me so much?"_

"_Sometimes."_

"_I'm scared. What if I lose you?"_

"_You won't, ever. I'll love you forever."_

_She kisses you and says, "I'll love you forever, too."_

* * *

"I vow to love you forever, no matter what life throws against us. We'll stay strong and stand our ground. And... I love you so much, Caleb, that's never going to change. This is my vow."

Hanna takes the ring Emily is handing her, both of them trembling. You smile at the view. Emily's eyes meet yours once again and now you finally understand. The turmoil in her eyes is finally revealed, the storm has passed. Everything disappears, it seem like all the sounds are miles away and all that what remains in that silence is Emily, the girl you've always been in love with. You see it clearly now, as you come to realize it. Every attempt to deny it has been futile. You can't deny the truth.

You'll love each other forever.

"You may now kiss the bride."

* * *

**Author's note: **Hello again, people. Here we have the wedding. Attended a few in real life, but never really understand how they work, so if something is wrong tell me. If I can, I'll fix it. Otherwise, call it poetic license.

I've included the other liars, obviously. They couldn't miss Hanna's wedding! And sorry if someone likes McHastings, but I had to do that.  
So, what do you think of this chapter? Did you expect something else? Tell me.

P.S.: I've changed the name on the flashback of the last chapter. I forgot there was a Lucas on the show (don't kill me) so I've changed it to Ethan.

Let me know your thoughts.

_See you,_

_Meek._


	7. Chapter VI

As always, the paragraphs in _italics _are flashback.

* * *

**Chapter VI**

Sometimes you just wish you could disappear, you've never liked being in the centre of the attention and that hasn't changed in the course of the years. This is the moment you've dreaded so much: your toast.  
You get up with the glass of champagne in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. You've memorized your speech, but no one can ever be so sure that emotions couldn't take over while speaking. So you've written it, just in case. You look at Pru for encouragement and she gives you two thumbs up, smiling. You smile back, clear your throat and begin.

"As many of you may know I'm not a very eloquent person, so I hope you don't mind if I borrow some words", you hear some chuckles around the room and, after smiling a little embarrassed, you continue, "Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate in an even better feeling.", you feel her eyes on you, "A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you... Forever, no matter what.", the weight of her gaze breaks your voice, you recompose yourself and then you stare back, "They say nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer that, for some, love lives on even after we're gone.", you make a short pause and turn to the newlyweds, with tears in your eyes and a smile on your lips, "When I look at Caleb and Hanna I believe. Knowing such love exists it's a wonderful, wonderful feeling. It gives me hope. They give me hope. They make me feel safer. So I want to thank you for this and for giving me the honor of being part of this great day. Cheers! May your life be exactly how you wish it to be."

You smile politely and sit down, praying Emily starts her toast immediately so you can stop being on the spotlight. Your prayers are answered. Caleb squeezes your hand and you turn your head toward him and Hanna, they are both smiling with touched eyes. He murmurs a soft "Thank you", Hanna nodding behind him, while you simply smile, unable to speak.

"You know, when we were teens Hanna and I were obsessed by Friends, the sit-com. Like, really. We didn't miss an episode. Never. It was like a daily appointment we couldn't miss. Well, I clearly remember about that time we were speaking, dreaming, about love while watching it and she said: 'I wish I will find my Chandler one day'. At the moment we just laughed it off, but guess what she said to me a few months later?", she pauses and you smile, seeing the playfulness in her eyes, "Yes, she said exactly that, 'I've found my Chandler', and again we laughed in joy. Later on, she told me that reality was so much better than imagination, because Caleb was so much better than Chandler. And today, I am happy to say that Hanna's dream came true. She found her love. She found her happy ending. And she is happy, like I've never see her before. And she is because of this man, to who I'll never stop being grateful. They couldn't find a better person to each other, but themselves. So cheers. May your life be a succession of dreams come true."

Oh boy, you need a drink. A really strong one.

* * *

You couldn't bear it anymore. Emily's eyes lingered on you for all the dance session you've shared with Elaine and you just needed to get away. You are so confused. You know she still has feelings for you, but what are you going to do? Should you do something with this new information or just ignore it?

"Is this how you've imagined our wedding to be?"

You flinch in surprise. You didn't expect someone to find you here. You chose the most hidden corner of the chalet, so no one could see you. You needed time alone to think.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter."

She nods and waits for your answer. You look at her curiously. Why does she want to know?

"No."

She cocks her head to a side, wanting you to elaborate. You don't know why you answer, but you do it anyway. Maybe because she's Emily and you still would do anything to her, sadly.

"It's not that I don't find this wedding a perfect one, this must be clear. It's perfect for them. Just like ours would have been perfect for us."

"What would you change?"

"I think we would have agreed on marrying somewhere near the water. Pools, lakes, the sea. Any of them would have been great. And then the reception would have been held at a restaurant overlooking the ocean."

"It's beautiful, really. And you've thought of this..."

"Two years ago, yes."

Silence falls between you. She is looking down, finding her shoes particularly fascinating. And you look at her. You stare. You can't understand her.

"Why did you ask me this? Do you regret saying no? Because that could have been us", you say pointing to the chalet, "We could have so damn happy. If only you hadn't said no."

"I've never said no! I've told you I wanted to marry you someday, but that at the moment I just wasn't ready. But you couldn't accept it. I loved you, Paige. I loved you so much.", she moves her hands, suddenly agitated.

"Yeah, that's why you broke up with me.", you laugh ironically.

"You asked for a break and, even if I knew it was a mistake, I let it happen anyway. Breaks never work. I told you that and you didn't listen to me, so don't blame it all on me."

"You are the one who transformed it into a break-up."

"Because you weren't happy!", she says shaking, tears finally streaming down her face. The view breaks your heart, Emily should never cry.

"No, don't touch me.", you stop and drop your arm, "You were miserable and that broke me. I've tried... I've tried so hard. But it was all in vain."

* * *

"_Paige, we need to talk."_

_You don't take your eyes off the TV as you answer, "About?"_

"_Us."_

"_And what about us?"_

"_It can't go on like this. Can we talk, please?"_

"_We're talking."_

"_Could you look at me and stop playing?"_

_You shake your head and keep on playing. Maybe this time she stops trying to talk to you and lets it go. There's no point in talking. Wishful thinking. She stands in front of the TV, with tears in her eyes._

"_Please, Paige. I love you. We can make this work, please..."_

"_I am playing multiplayer, Em. I can't pause it."_

"_Is a stupid game more important than us?"_

_You don't answer and eventually she moves aside. You resume playing, like nothing happened. You see her shaking her head with the corner of your eyes. She's trying to hold back her tears._

"_Goodnight, Paige."_

_You nod and she leaves the living room. It's when she opens your bedroom's door that she breaks down. You turn to look at her, but she has already entered. You ponder if you'd better follow her or stay where you are and let her be. In the end, you settle with the latter._

* * *

"I couldn't give you what you wanted and that killed me."

You gulp. You have to show no emotion, no feeling. Not until you understand it completely.

"Believe me, letting you go is the hardest thing I've ever done."

But when it comes to her, you never win. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you remain as impassible as you can.

"What the hell do you want, Emily?"

Pronouncing her name makes you shiver. You haven't said it out loud for so long and it is strange doing it now. Strange, yet beautiful. She seems to feel the same, because her voice quivers and she shivers.

"You. I want you. I still love you, Paige."

You stand frozen, looking at her with tears in your eyes. She still loves you. It's not like you didn't know that already, but hearing her say it out loud is something entirely different. It means everything. She caresses your cheek and then leans in to kiss you. You don't register it right away, too stunned. She starts to back away, but you crash your lips together again, putting your hand behind her neck, finally able to move.

"God, I so missed it... You."

It still is one of the greatest feeling in the world. You could go on forever, because there's no need to breathe. You breathe through her lips, she's the air you've always needed. She is kissing you desperately, with such passion, like this is the last time she can, like it's her last opportunity.

"And I think you still love me, too."

You do. Of course you do. You couldn't ever fall out of love with her. But you don't tell her that. You just stare at her. And, while her hopeful smile slowly dies, her eyes remain full of hope. You don't know what to do, what to say. So you just stand there, without doing anything. Your phone suddenly beeps and you both jump in surprise.

"Where are you? Elaine misses her dance partner."

You look up and take a deep breath. "I have to go. Elaine wants me."

She pleads you with her eyes to stay, but you only shake your head and look at her apologetically. You head back inside, leaving a frozen and heart-broken Emily behind you.

* * *

"Do you mind if I dance with my daughter?"

"But she's my plus-one.", you pout.

"Father beats everyone else, deal with it."

You laugh and step back, hands up in surrender. You leave Matthew and Elaine to dance and you join Pru at the bar. You order a drink and sip it slowly.

"He has claimed her, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, but I don't mind. I needed a small break, you know dancing isn't my forte.", you say laughing.

"I know it too well, Paige two-left-feet McCullers. Remember me to never dance with you again. If there's another wedding don't ask me if you can practice with me, because my answer will be no."

You know it's the truth so you don't mind. Actually, you laugh harder along with Pru. You leave your eyes wander through the hall and you stop when you see Emily. She's drinking and trying to listen to Aria. You know she's not really paying attention to what the other girl is saying because she's staring aimless at her glass.

"I don't know what happened, but I know something has. You were with her before and you've been distracted since then. What did she say to you?"

You turn to look at her, "She still loves me."

She nods gravely and seems deep in thought., "And what are you doing about it?"

"I don't know, it's complicated."

You shake your head. You don't really know. You've been thinking about it since you left her in that garden. You've come to realize you made mistakes, too. Not everything is always black or white, you have never considered the shades. You've rejected them and you've pushed her away, when you just had to stay united and strong. You should have tried to save your relationship, but you were blinded by the hurt to realize you were the one who actually ended it. Emily took the blame for everything, when she shouldn't have. It was your fault, too.

"It is very simple, in my opinion. Either you give one more chance to your relationship or you let her go once for good."

"Simple like that?"

"Simple like that."

You nod and take a deep breath, "I love her."

"And?"

And what, Paige? What are you going to do? Which path will you take? Will you finally breathe again? Or will you live your live gasping for air?

"And I don't want to lose her again. I've lost her too many times."

"Then go and tell her."

You're both smiling, with watery eyes. God, you're so lucky to have her as a friend. She always is there for you, she always gets you. She's the best friend you could ever have. You hug her and whisper a small "Thank you" in her ear.

"You are making me cry, McCullers. So you'd better cut the sappy crap before I do and go get your lady."

You laugh and she gives you a little push.

"Go."

It's time to breathe again.

You nod and turn to the last spot you've seen Emily. She is still there, but she's alone now. You take a deep breath and start walking towards her. Slowly at first, but then you speed up the pace. She sees you approaching and tenses up. You smile.

* * *

_She is getting closer and closer. You are unable to move, you can only stare. She's so beautiful in that cowgirl costume that she gets you hypnotized. You greet each other with a simple "Hey" after having spent an entire night avoiding each other._

"_Look... I don't want to be the person who ends up with mushy squash."_

_What the hell is she saying? Has she been drinking?_

"_Are you drunk?"_

"_No."_

"_What are you trying to say?"_

"_I'm saying that I wanna dance with you. Now. Before they turn the lights off."_

_You release a breath you didn't know you were holding. You smile in relief and take the hand she's offering you, she leads you to the dance floor and you hold onto her, Lady Antebellum's voice carrying the both of you through the waves of love._

* * *

"I do."

She looks at you astonished, "What?"

"I still love you."

And you adore her face so full of stupor. It's one of her faces that you love the most.

"You mean...?"

"Dance with me."

You hold out your hand for her to take and she takes it immediately, without hesitation. You smile at each other and you lead her to the dance floor. You put your hands on her hips while she puts hers around your shoulders. You close your eyes and savor the moment, you fix it on your mind. Holding her is amazing, you didn't think you would have the chance to do it again so you cling tightly to her.

"They are staring at us."

You open your eyes and see she's right. Lots of eyes are on you. Caleb and Hanna are smiling, along with Aria, Toby, Lucas and Matthew. Even Spencer has a little smile on her lips.

"Let them stare."

"It's just... Wow.", you look at her with curiosity, "Pru is smiling at me. And if I might underline it, at me. Do you get it? She gave the evil eye all the wedding but now she's smiling, like really smiling, at me."

You laugh a little at her silliness, "Maybe you'll get along this time."

"I doubt it."

You both laugh and it is fantastic. You're laughing together again. You just love her laugh, it makes you happy. She makes you happy. Slowly your laughs stop and you fall in silence, which is broken by Emily a few moments later.

"I wish this moment could ever end.", she say resting her head on your shoulder.

You smile and kiss her temple. You know you have a lot to talk about, that everything still isn't okay, but you're sure it is going to be. It will be okay. It will be perfect. You both will be happy. Together. Like it should always have been. You're sure of it.

You are finally breathing again.

* * *

**Author's note: **The end. Just kidding, but we're getting there.  
Longest chapter ever. Something like 2,650 words, more or less. Bam! Score!  
Review and let me know your thoughts, I really want to know what do you think of this chapter.

_See you,_

_Meek._


	8. Chapter VII

The paragraph in _italics _is a flashback, as usual.

* * *

**Chapter VII**

A few weeks have passed and for now you're doing pretty good. Obviously everything isn't okay yet, but it will be in time. You're talking a lot and discovering what you have been up to this past two years. You put all your strength on work and on swimming while she fully dedicated to work, leaving swimming aside. When you've asked her how long it has been since the last time she swam she was very evasive so you didn't push the argument further and you let go. You saw so much pain behind her eyes and you understood that this past years haven't been easy for her. You've never thought of it before, but you realized in that moment that she was completely alone. Sure, she had the friends she made back there, but all of her best friends were too far and she didn't have anyone to really rely on. At least, you had Pru, who picked you up when you fell. You've decided not to push her to talk, you'll give her time, she will do it when she is ready to and you will be there for her, listening. It's all you can do. It's what you will do.

"Do we really have to go?"

You don't really want to go. When she asked you to go and eat something with Spencer and Toby, you felt like you couldn't say no. Because, really, why should you have said no? She doesn't know anything about what happened and it would have been really strange if you refused. So you said yes and you're now heading to the diner you're supposed to meet with them. You already know that trying to convince her not to go won't work, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

"Yes."

"We still can turn around and go back to your house and cuddle."

"It's really tempting, believe me, but no.", you sigh and nod, "You've been nervous since I told you they wanted to meet us. If you are worried about Spencer don't be, she told me she is happy we are back together."

Yeah sure, you can imagine that. You don't answer, it's better if she thinks you are worried about Spencer because of that. She is looking at you, with an eyebrow raised. You know she's suspecting something.

"I've noticed some tension between you at the wedding, has something happened?"

Of course she had to notice. You shake your head and focus on the road. You haven't told her yet and you're not planning to do so. You know how much she cares for Spencer, so you don't want to ruin their friendship, if she finds out she would be so angry at her friend and you don't want that.

"Paige, we've passed the diner. Are you okay?"

"Damn. Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.", you say, checking nobody is coming to turn around.

"Are you sure?"

You nod and try to smile, but she still wears the same doubtful expression she had before. Damn you for being so transparent. You give her a chaste kiss before getting off the car. Spencer and Toby are already there, waiting for the two of you. She takes your hand before reaching them. You love when you're holding hands, it's absolutely amazing. The two friends greet each other with hugs and kisses on the cheek, while you shake hands with Toby. He has a kind smile on his lips and he seems genuinely happy to see you. You didn't have much time to talk at the wedding, so you think this is a great opportunity to know how he is doing. You give a court nod to Spencer, to which she responds with a same one. You consider yourself lucky Emily didn't see it, you don't want to give her other reasons to be suspicious. You enter the diner and you go and sit to your table. You decide what to order and, while waiting for someone to take your orders, you make small talk. Actually, they do the most of the talking and you listen, speaking only when you feel like it. After the waiter goes away, Spencer and Emily go to the toilet and you and Toby remain there, in silence. You don't really have much to say, all your questions being answered just moments ago. But you just know he has something to say, so you're not surprised when he breaks the silence.

"She's really sorry, you know?", you just snort, "She is. She's been feeling guilty since she said that, but you know that sometimes she's just too proud to admit she was wrong about something.", you don't say anything so he continues, "She made a mistake, she knows that, and she's sorry."

"Sorry isn't enough sometimes."

You felt it on your skin many years ago, when you broke Emily's trust. It didn't matter how much you were sorry, she wouldn't forgive you. And when she did, it took her long to trust you again.

"She was wrong, Paige. You deserve her."

* * *

"_You said what?!"_

"_I told her to go to hell, that I don't need someone like her in my life, someone who doesn't love me. And..."_

"_I heard you the first time. Are you insane ?How could you say that? It's not her who doesn't deserve you, but the other way around. You don't deserve her."_

"_Fuck you, Spencer. Fuck you. Fuck Emily. Fuck everybody."_

_You hung up and start crying. The phone slips from your hand and hits the ground, and you follow it. Your knees slam hard against the cold floor, but you don't feel anything. You only hear the echo of Spencer's words in your ears: you don't deserve her, you don't deserve her, you don't deserve her._

_Fuck the world._

* * *

"That's beside the point.", you bit your lip, you're becoming a bit too emotional, "The point is that I could have handled everything else, Toby, but not that. And she knew that, that's why she did it. So I'm sorry, but I won't forgive her. I can't."

He looks at you intensely and you feel like you're going to cry. You cared a lot about Spencer in the past, you considered her your friend, not just a friend of Emily. And hearing her say that just hurt you so much that you'll never be able to forgive her.  
You hear the girls' voices approaching so you recompose yourself. Emily smiles happily at you and you smile back. You can't help but feeling happy everytime you look at her. You breathe and everything is okay, thanks to her.

The waiter comes back with your food, so you start eating, work being the topic of conversation. You talk a bit more now, you enjoy talking about your work, you find it absolutely fascinating. You hear about Spencer and Toby's carriers and you're glad to know how far they've come, one being a respected lawyer and the other a new detective. You even learn about some funny facts happened in Emily's class that she didn't mention to you.

"There's something we wish to tell you. We know it for sometimes now, but we didn't find the right moment to tell you. We didn't want to tell you through a text or a phone call, but we couldn't tell anybody at the wedding, it was their special day and we didn't want to steal it, so we waited and..."

"Are you pregnant?", Emily cuts her off, excitedly.

You laugh a little seeing her so excited and smile widely when they both nod, answering her. Emily bursts out in joy and gets up to hug her two best friends. You secure this vision in your mind, because she's just too adorable not to do so. You already know she's going to love this child a lot, probably she does it already. She will be a great aunt, you are sure of that. You congratulate, too, and after that times seems to fly by. You talk about the pregnancy and some minor stuff and you found yourself to smile more than you've anticipated. This lunch hasn't been so awful like you expected. Sure, the tension between you and Spencer was palpable, if Emily's worried looks were hints, but it slowly decreased. You even smiled at her a little when you parted ways. She was kinda surprised but smiled back, making Emily and Toby smile happily at the view. You've seen the regret in her eyeseverytime she looked at you during the meal. You're not going to forgive her, but you can at least be civil and cordial. You can get along. At least you can try to. Emily's smile is worth the effort.

"So what do you think? It wasn't so bad, was it?", she asks on the way back to her house.

"It was better than I expected, yes."

"It is amazing, right? They're having a baby!"

It's indeed amazing. You smile and park the car while she smiles contented. She kisses you and with her voice barely louder than a whisper and full of mischief she asks, "Want to come up?"

"Em...", you shiver.

"You wanted to cuddle before. Don't you want to now?"

"Of course I wan..."

She shuts you up with a kiss, "Then hush and come up, my love."

* * *

**Author's note:** I know, I am a horrible person. I'm posting a week late and all I'm giving you it's a filler chapter, even a short one. I'm so sorry. School and life got in the middle and I didn't have time to update. Sorry again.  
Filler chapter, I know. But I wanted to separate the previous chapter from the next one, so what's better than a filler? And I also wanted to give you some (sort of) happy times in this chapter and part of the next, before the finale. Because yes, next chapter is going to be the last one.

(READ ONLY IF YOU DON'T MIND BEING "SPOILERED", BUT I NEED HELP)  
I'm having a doubt so I hope someone can help me. If I write one scene thatshould be rated M, should I rate all the story as M? Or can I simply put in the description that the last chapter is rated M? Help me, please. And don't read too much into it. It's not smut.

I seriously hope you are still interested in this story and that I will update within ten days. Check up my profile to see news about it.

_See you soon (I pray),_

_Meek. _


	9. Chapter VIII

Rated M, I think.

* * *

**Chapter VIII**

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

You've decided to surprise Emily at work, again. Sometimes you just do because you miss her or because you just want to take her somewhere. But today is a special day and you hope there's no student around this time, because when one of them almost caught you kissing Emily freaked out a little, wanting to have a professional relationship with her students. You've promised her you would be more careful the next time, so you locked the door.

"I'm looking for my girlfriend. Have you seen her?"

"Oh, I don't know. What does she look like?"

"Well, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She's like a goddess, you know?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I've seen any goddess around here.", she says smiling, while you approach her.

"Let me show you a picture."

You take your phone and active the camera and then show it to her. When her face appears in the screen, you press the button to take the picture and you burst out laughing.

She scrunches her nose, saying, "It's not funny, Paige. I hate when you do that."

You laugh harder and she soon joins you, no longer able to hide her laugh. You still didn't get used to hear her laughing, but you don't think that's a bad thing. Actually, you fall a little deeper in love with her everytime. Hearing her laugh is like a medicine, whenever you're feeling a bit down her laugh is enough to make you smile again.

"Hello, babe.", you say before giving a little peck on the lips. You both smile. "So, I want to take you somewhere and before you ask, no, I won't tell you where we're going. Don't make the puppy eyes, Em. It's a surprise."

"Fine, fine. But it'd better be good. I'm ready, let's go."

You're going to take her to the public natatorium, usually no one is there at this hour. You just hope that today is this case. You want today to be special: exactly nine years ago Emily came to your house saying that she wanted to be with you. And this is worth to be celebrated.

"Still not telling me?"

"Nope."

"You know, I could hate you right now.", you raise an eyebrow, "Okay, fine. I could never hate you, but you know how much curious I am."

"Well, we're almost there."

You see her looking at the surroundings, confusion written all over her face. You watch carefully her expression when she realizes that there's nothing around there apart from the natatorium. She stiffens and turns to look at you.

"Paige..."

"Look, I know you haven't been swimming for a long time, but I think this could be the moment you start again. And what better occasion than this?"

She nods, but she doesn't seem too convinced, so you take her hand and say, "We can leave whenever you like, even now. But I would like for you to get in the water, just to know how it feels like. To remember what it feels like."

"I... Okay, I can try."

You smile and kiss her on the cheek while she smiles slightly. You know she's not fully persuaded, but she will be once she gets in the water. That's like her second nature.

"Thank you, I couldn't ask for more."

She nods, "Well, what are we waiting for?"

You smile and take the bag you've prepared from the back seats. You take her hand and enter the natatorium. You led the way to the locker room, having been there a lot for the past two years. She takes her time to look around.

"It reminds me of our locker room."

"Yeah, that's why I always came here to swim."

"Really?", you nod and she smiles, "Good memories?"

"Some of the best", you say blushing a little and dipping your head, knowing what she's referring to. She smirks and kisses you quickly.

You give her all she needs and you change in your swimsuit. You caught each other checking the other out and you blush at the same time, diverting your gazes. You haven't been intimate yet, both wanting things to be really okay before going further, but lately you've been craving just to touch her. You cough, as to clear your mind from those thoughts. You are feeling like a teenager again. When you're both ready, you exit the locker room. Just as you hoped, there's nobody, so the pool is all yours.

"God, it feels like ages since I've heard this smell."

"And how is it?"

"It's refreshing and calming. When we were in high school it used to stress me until I've dived right into the water and the chlorine was the only thing I sensed. But now..."

You nod in understanding. You never have abandoned swimming, it is the only thing that always kept you going, but you think you can understand her feelings in this moment. You would probably feel the same. You wait for her to adjust, letting her take all the time she needs to. You don't want to pressure her.

"Come on, McCullers. Race this injured swimmer."

You smile and follow her into the water. You're happy she took the initiative, it means she's relaxed, at ease. You make a few laps, swimming side to side, surpassing each other every two seconds. She told you she hasn't swam for a long period and you expected her to be a little rusty, but she isn't.

"I want to tell you something."

Her tone is voice so serious and you start to worry a little.

"I know you've been wondering about me and swimming, so..."

"Em, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"And I want, I told you.", you nod to let her know to continue, that you're listening, "I've tried to swim, you know, after... everything. But it just wasn't the same. After my accident I didn't think I could swim again, but you reminded me that swimming was, is, a joy. That I could still swim for fun. And that from moment on, it became our thing. Ours and only ours. And when we split up, I've tried. I thought it could help me not to think of you, you know, only for a while. But it only made it harder. So I stopped."

Your heart sinks. She hasn't been swimming for almost two years. Two years. Damn. You didn't think it was this long. Although her face is wet from the water, you can distinguish the tears that creep out from her eyes so you hurry to wipe them out.

"I shouldn't have done this, I'm sorry."

"What? No, no. You did the right thing. I remember now, Paige. And it's amazing."

You look down, but she immediately rests her hand your cheek, making you look at her again. She's smiling, so you smile, too. She captures your lips in a long kiss.

"I mean it. Thank you, I needed this.", you nod so she continues, "A few more laps? Think you can do it?"

* * *

You're watching TV, or at least you're trying to. Emily seems so uneasy and you can't understand why. She keeps on moving, adjusting herself, she never seems satisfied of her place. When she rests her head on your chest, you think she has finally settled, but obviously she hasn't.

"I was thinking...", she stops right there and starts fidgeting with her fingers.

"Yeah?"

"I know we've decided not to hurry things up, so if you think this is too much just tell me.", you nod, confused, "I was thinking that maybe, just maybe we could, you know, live together. Or not, I guess... It is too soon, right?"

"Yes."

"Oh God, I knew it was. Pretend I didn't say anything.", she says, turning her head to the TV.

Her face is priceless so you laugh and, after giving her a little kiss, you say, "Yes, I want to live together, silly."

She smiles widely and she engulfs you into a crashing-bone hug. You both laugh in glee and then you kiss. You kiss every inch of her exposed skin and then bite her earlobe. You perfectly know what is going to happen and this time you won't stop, like the other times. It feels the right time. It is the right time. The perfect one. You both don't have to say anything,there's no need to. She takes your hand and guides you to her bedroom. You are suddenly a bit nervous and your hands start to shake a little. You cup her right cheek and she closes her eyes at the gesture, covering your hand with hers. It stops shaking and you both smile. You lean in and you kiss her. The kisses are tentative and tender and slowly the nervousness goes away. You lay down on the bed, gentleness quickly replaced by passion. Soon both of your shirts are off, immediately followed by your bras. Her nails dig on your back, you arch and miss Emily's lips, but she doesn't seem to mind because she places a trail of light kisses down your throat. You close your eyes and shiver in bliss. You feel so warm, her lips on your body are like fire.

"You're so beautiful.", you are unable to speak, so you kiss her hard, just to say she's the one who is beautiful. She is the most beautiful woman you've ever saw. She will always be.

The next few moments are chaotic, you let love guide your actions and you lose yourself in Emily. All the clothes are off now and you're exploring each other's bodies like this is the first time you ever do. The only sounds are your panting and her moans, there's no need to speak, because you can feel everything.

As you move inside of her, you feel finally whole. You've become one again. You're finally breathing again and you know this time is for good. There won't be a time you aren't going to breathe. You just know it.

Her husky voice makes you smile, "Don't think we are done here, babe."

* * *

The morning after you wake up feeling in peace with the world. The light dazzles your eyes, but it doesn't blind you. You watch Emily sleepfor a while with a happy smile on your lips. She's so beautiful and looks so peaceful. You kiss slightly her temple, not to wake her up, and then you get up to make breakfast. It's pretty late, so you're simply going to make coffee. You put you t-shirt on and direct to the kitchen. Luckily, you easily find everything you need. While you wait for the coffee to boil, you think of last night. A little blush appears on your cheeks, just reminding what the two of you have done.

"Good morning."

You jerk, you didn't notice her entering the kitchen. You smile sweetly seeing her rub her eyes, still sleepy. You grab two mugs and pour the coffee in them, handing her one. She smiles gratefully and takes a sip.

"Good morning to you, too. Did you sleep well?"

"I haven't slept this well in I don't know how long. You?"

You nod to tell it's the same for you. You get closer to her and your lips meet halfway. You both smile and you melt in the kiss. She hugs you, whispering in your ear, "I don't want you to go."

"Then I'm not going."

"You should, baby. Even if there's nothing I would want more than just being lazy with you all day, you should go. She said it was something important, hasn't she?", you nod, "Go and then come back here after lunch, okay? I'll be waiting for you."

"Well, I have time before I have to go, so we can start being lazy now. What do you think?"

She smiles, "I think that's amazing."

* * *

"The road is still wet, so drive carefully, okay?"

"Yes, don't worry."

You kiss her and get in the car. You should have left twenty minutes ago to be right on time, but you've already texted Pruthat you're going to be late and she told you not to worry. You wave one last time at Emily before starting the engine and hitting the road. You turn the radio on and sing along. And when a certain song, the first one you've ever sang with Emily, starts you put all your passion into it. You turn right, you're almost arrived. You're curious to hear what Pru has to tell you, she's been very ambiguous about it.

You're almost there. But in the moment a dog cross the street and you can only brake and swerve the steering wheel not to hit it you know that you are not going to arrive. You lose the control of the vehicle and it skids. You don't know how many times it flips, you lose count after the first one. It eventually stops and exactly when you think it's over, your car hits a tree and you slam your head against the steering wheel. You're beginning to lose consciousness, you can feel that. Your head hurts like hell, you touch it with your hand and you see blood on your fingers.

"Ma'am, you need to stay awake. We've already called the 911, but you have to stay awake."

You turn so fast, making your head spin. You cough and, fuck, it hurts too much. They've managed to remove the driver's door, so you are able to catch that guy's attention.

"Do me a favor, kid.", it's hard to speak but you have to. This could be your last wish. "If I don't make it out of here alive or whatever, I want you to..."

"Ma'am, you will make it. Do you hear the sirens?"

No, you can't. You can only focus on one thing in this moment. And that's Emily. You might not see her anymore, so you picture her happy face in your mind. You don't answer him, he is scared enough.

"What do you want me to do, ma'am?"

"Tell Emily to...", you cough while the guy holds your head steady. First aid and all those safety procedures help after all. You knew that, but you've never thought you would need this kind of help.

You know you're not going to last more than a few seconds, maybe a minute.

"She has to keep on breathing, she must. Promise me you'll tell her.", you cough again, "And that I'm sorry, rea..."

Everything goes black.

* * *

**Author's note: **And here comes the final chapter. Don't kill me, please.

I'm really sorry for the wait, but I've written more than I expected and it took awhile. Strangely, the ending was the easiest part to write.  
As you may have noticed, no flashback in this final chapter. Just like in the prologue, I didn't feel the need of putting flashback. The beginning and the end of a story are "just" that.

Well, I knew how this was going to end around chapter 2 or 3, but trust me, it hasn't gotten any easier for me. And it is going to be easy for Emily either, if you know what I mean. Yup. That's exactly what I mean. A sequel. Because really, a story cannot finish this way. I kind of hate open endings. And there still are so many thing to say, and I really want to explore those things. Hoping you are up for it.

Thank you for sticking with me so long! This is my first long-fic, obviously, and I'm glad of the responses it got. So thank to you all again!

_Meek's out._


End file.
